poop.

I may have already written about this. And if I did, I'm sorry.

but I just have to ask: How would you feel if every time you stepped outside into the beautiful spring sunshine, your entire surrounding universe smelled like rotting fecal matter?

This is NOT a hypothetical situation. Ah, spring...

ajr

drugs are bad.

So I subscribe to this RSS feed that sends me a bizarre -but true!- news headline every day. This is what I just read:

Police say that officers searching for a man wanted on methamphetamine charges found him hiding neck-deep in a liquid manure pit at a northeastern Indiana farm.

Moral of the story: don't do drugs. You'll end up chest-deep in poop.

ajr

snow???

Today I walked outside and almost died. I thought I saw snow falling from the sky. In April. While this DID happen last week, I was NOT ok with it snowing again. But before I dropped to the ground in tears and anguish, I noticed that it was not snow. They were hundreds of little flower petals from the blooming trees. Praise the Lord.

Much more acceptable. It was a pleasant walk to work.

ajr

paint

my hands are covered in paint. But here's what I discovered:

for some reason, the paint that was mixed with water and then dried on my hand after washing paint rollers is still stuck. The straight paint that I spilled on myself while actually painting came off in the shower.

...why does it make sense for watery paint to stick and full-strength stuff to come off??

weird.

ajr

William Keith

This is not average at all.

But it must be documented. I am an aunt. :D and I have pictures to prove it.

home ec lesson

Here's a free tip for all of you people actually reading this (so...me in 6 months):

When you put sneakers in the dryer, do NOT dry them on high heat. Low heat is good. medium heat is probably tolerable. But this morning I learned from experience that high heat will cause the shoe itself to shrink, ripping itself away from the rubber sole. This is tricky to fix, even with hot glue and scissors.

So there you go.

You're welcome.

ajr

covers

Today I realized that I totally judge books by their covers. It's true. I know this goes against all common wisdom and cliches, but I can't help it. If you hand me two copies of Hamlet, for example, and these were the covers, I would CLEARLY want to read the first one.

It doesn't matter that the text is identical. The first one looks way cooler.

And if this one were a book, I would totally choose it. But sadly, it's a screenplay.

On that note, I should probably comment that if they've made a movie out of the book and then a book cover out of the movie (I know you know what I mean - they did this with Lord of the Rings, Narnia, etc), I'll definitely go for that one.

I'm so shallow.

ajr