Fruity!

Discovery:

My facial wash (which is some weird apricot natural thing) tastes like apricots.

I know this may seem shocking, but it's true. Apparently, they weren't lying when they said it was natural. I am actually rubbing apricots all over my face. Cool.

Anyway, I'm comforted to know that if I were stuck on a desert island with nothing but my facial cleanser, I would not only have flawless pores but would not starve.

Win.

ajr

i'm weird.

I just noticed two things about myself today:

1. I have a favorite bathroom stall. It took me a week to find it, but tonight, I knew. It's the third one down. It's very nice.

2. I'm picky when it comes to pens. I like my ink to be either dark blue or black, and if it's not smooth while writing and comfortable to grip, I don't want to use it.

Trivial? Perhaps. But I'm afraid these quirks are now ingrained in my personality. So this leads me to the following conclusion:

I'm weird.

ajr

Not so silly bands

Some of you may recall that earlier this summer I posted a mocking comment regarding the new silly band fad.

Well here's an end-of-the-summer update:

I now own two of them. A fairy wand and a glow in the dark squirrel. I take back my malicious comments and beg forgiveness of my readers.

I am so cool.

ajr

ferrets

I saw this on a bumper sticker the other day:

"My ferret is smarter than my president."

I laughed a lot. And then I decided I kind of want a ferret.

ajr

win.

Today while driving through Dallas in the rain (and getting lost, of course), I was in a bit of a funk...that is, until I passed a yellow punch buggy with only one working headlight.

so much win.

ajr

sugar cones?

Today when I was ordering (delicious Blue Bell) ice cream, I asked for mint chocolate chip on a sugar cone. The man behind the counter grabbed a cone and asked if I wanted one or two scoops. I said one and then I said (I shouldn't have said this - this whole "letting words slip before really thinking things through" thing is costing me. (: ), "and I wanted a sugar cone, but that's ok - the wafer is fine." You see, he was holding a wafer cone. I didn't really care. Honest.

"This IS a sugar cone." he says, as though I haven't been ordering ice cream cones since I was five.

"What?" I was confused. Was he pulling my chain? Or leg? Or anything else? I know that sugar cones are just skinny versions of the waffle cone. Everyone knows this. They're sweet and sugary. The wafer cone he was holding was, well, wafery. Anyone could see this. I glanced at his coworker. I was given a "...what?" kind of look, like there was nothing wrong.

"Huh..." I said, "I always thought those were wafer cones." (thinking: clearly that's a wafer cone, good sir. That's a wafery McDonalds special. I buy those in grocery stores. They're labeled "Wafer Cones.")

"No, we don't have those - we just have sugar cones and waffle cones...um did you want a waffle cone instead?"

"No, that's fine. I guess I was just confused. I'll have a single scoop on a sugar cone, thanks." (thinking: or wafer cone, as the case may be. I never thought I'd be having this discussion.)

Some things, while they're not worth an argument, ARE worth laughing at and recording for posterity.

I thought this was one of them.

ajr

airports

There's something funny about airports...A man walking through an airport seems to feel he has an excuse for odd/otherwise unacceptable behavior because he's had a crazy day of travel. For the most part, I think this is true. People are much more forgiving of toothbrushing and deodorant application in public restrooms because they too have had a long day. But sometimes people forget they're doing weird things as they step out to the curb to catch a cab.
Buddy, you really should take that neck pillow off of your shoulders before you go out hailing taxis.

ajr

irony

Yesterday: I went and got the Super Clean car wash. The suburban's innards were thoroughly wiped, vacuumed, polished, and shampooed. It was quite the ordeal and my beloved tank was shimmering and shining by the end.

This morning: Joseph and Sammy get into the car after church and, accosted by the smell of the clean car (which had, admittedly, begun to smell a little musty as the damp shampoo dried - I mentally made a note this morning to leave the windows open as it dries. It seems to me that an expensive car wash shouldn't HAVE such problems...but what do I know?), Joseph puked on the carpet.

I think the irony was lost on the boys, but if I hadn't been busy cleaning up regurgitated watermelon and chicken, I would've been laughing my head off.

ajr

silly silly bands

I discovered a new fashion trend today: silly bands.

they're like those little rubber bracelets that were in about 10 years ago, but THESE glow in the dark (some of them) and are all shaped like little animals or stars or dollar signs or other things. They're sold in bags of about 25 for $5 a pop.

I think I'm getting old...cuz the whole trend strikes me as kind of dumb. :)

ajr

Christian World

Today while driving through Dallas, I passed a sign for a gated community. It read "Welcome to Christian World." I am not making this up.
My, how I love the Bible belt.

ajr

oh people...

This observation actually made me sad. So I'm sorry for sharing it.

Scene one:

I was in the airport and my flight was beginning its pre-boarding process. An older--but not super frail--woman approached the counter and sat in the wheelchair. The stewardess (who was preparing to load an old blind man into said wheelchair) was a bit taken aback and started to explain to the woman that she could use the chair but would need to wait. The woman didn't seem to understand how it could not be her turn. "Come on! You're supposed to be moving!" After a short argument, the woman finally gave her seat--begrudgingly--to the old blind man.

Really?

Scene two:

On the plane as people are finding their seats. A woman taps the man in front of her on the shoulder. She explains that her daughter is sitting in the row in front of her (next to the man) and asks if he would be willing to trade seats so that the girl (who might have been 12) wouldn't have to sit by herself. The man shakes his head and sits in his assigned seat, saying, "No, actually, I prefer the window seat." The woman and her daughter are stuck in separate rows.

...Really?

Sometimes I forget, but this was a good reminder of the pitifully selfish human nature Christ has freed me from and I fight against. God, give me strength to not give into it. I don't want people to look at me, as I looked at these people today, and say, "Geez. What a jerk."

ajr

Oh yeah, china.

Well I'm sorry to report that China's GFW (the Great FireWall) blocks blogger.com. So I was unable to keep my promise to include epic Chinese updates. So this blog will resume its usual role in filling you in on inconsequential and average happenings in my life. As a consolation prize, however, here are a couple pictures from my trip.

ajr

less average

To Whom it May Concern:

The next series of posts will be straying from the theme of this blog. I know I'm supposed to just be blogging average happenings of my life. But as when young William was born, I must admit that my life isn't ALWAYS just average. The next couple weeks worth of posts (however many there happen to be) will be from China.

China is NOT average. To illustrate:

Average:

NOT average:

We're currently in Vancouver. Looking at really pretty mountains. So I'll keep you posted. ha. pardon the pun.

ajr

poop.

I may have already written about this. And if I did, I'm sorry.

but I just have to ask: How would you feel if every time you stepped outside into the beautiful spring sunshine, your entire surrounding universe smelled like rotting fecal matter?

This is NOT a hypothetical situation. Ah, spring...

ajr

drugs are bad.

So I subscribe to this RSS feed that sends me a bizarre -but true!- news headline every day. This is what I just read:

Police say that officers searching for a man wanted on methamphetamine charges found him hiding neck-deep in a liquid manure pit at a northeastern Indiana farm.

Moral of the story: don't do drugs. You'll end up chest-deep in poop.

ajr

snow???

Today I walked outside and almost died. I thought I saw snow falling from the sky. In April. While this DID happen last week, I was NOT ok with it snowing again. But before I dropped to the ground in tears and anguish, I noticed that it was not snow. They were hundreds of little flower petals from the blooming trees. Praise the Lord.

Much more acceptable. It was a pleasant walk to work.

ajr

paint

my hands are covered in paint. But here's what I discovered:

for some reason, the paint that was mixed with water and then dried on my hand after washing paint rollers is still stuck. The straight paint that I spilled on myself while actually painting came off in the shower.

...why does it make sense for watery paint to stick and full-strength stuff to come off??

weird.

ajr

William Keith

This is not average at all.

But it must be documented. I am an aunt. :D and I have pictures to prove it.

home ec lesson

Here's a free tip for all of you people actually reading this (so...me in 6 months):

When you put sneakers in the dryer, do NOT dry them on high heat. Low heat is good. medium heat is probably tolerable. But this morning I learned from experience that high heat will cause the shoe itself to shrink, ripping itself away from the rubber sole. This is tricky to fix, even with hot glue and scissors.

So there you go.

You're welcome.

ajr

covers

Today I realized that I totally judge books by their covers. It's true. I know this goes against all common wisdom and cliches, but I can't help it. If you hand me two copies of Hamlet, for example, and these were the covers, I would CLEARLY want to read the first one.

It doesn't matter that the text is identical. The first one looks way cooler.

And if this one were a book, I would totally choose it. But sadly, it's a screenplay.

On that note, I should probably comment that if they've made a movie out of the book and then a book cover out of the movie (I know you know what I mean - they did this with Lord of the Rings, Narnia, etc), I'll definitely go for that one.

I'm so shallow.

ajr

People are Stupid

Today I lost all faith in humanity after reading a news article.

A man was running from the cops and he ditched his car and jumped a fence to try and get away. Problem is, the fence turned out to be the boundary of a prison yard.

True story.

You'd think the barbed wire would have tipped him off. I'm so disillusioned with my kind.

ajr

nightmares

The other day I learned that sometimes the most random household objects can provoke unpleasant dreams. This is weird, because I'm fairly well convinced that most people aren't freaked out by bars of soap. But I have this odd "natural lemon-scented" soap that Klepacki gave me. And it dries in a really funny way, apparently--it gets cracks all down it. For some reason, this struck me as really creepy. And so I dreamed about it. The soap was a doorway to hell and demon monster things emerged from the cracks. I now keep a careful eye on my soap whenever I shower.

ajr

10 page paper

What would happen if I were to just hand in 10 blank pieces of paper for an assignment? I'd include a title page, of course...

Someone else try this and let me know. I'm too afraid.

ajr

color-blind

I was thinking yesterday how weird it would be to be color blind. The idea is just so alien to me. The more I thought about it, the more freaky it seemed. Then I opened my computer- and I couldn't see any color!!

Needless to say, I was totally freaked out. Until I realized that the desktop background on my computer is a black and white picture.

Color vision: still safe. PTL.

ajr

so jealous.

Today I was sitting in a lecture and looked out the window.

there was a group of people standing on the neighboring roof staring down at me through the window. I have no idea what they were doing there. But at the same time, I wonder what the heck I was doing in here.

Now don't get me wrong. The lecture was great...but still.

I'd rather be on the roof.

ajr

humans and our problems

Today I realized how funny people's problems are. I mean not FUNNY, but ironic. Example:

as I was checking my mailbox, my friend came up to me and asked for help with her computer-it was stuck shut. After a bit of jiggling with my dad's old cub scout knife, it popped open. Then later, another friend asked if I could help her with her computer - it wouldn't close.

Problems are all relative, I suppose.

I wonder if my friends would be happy if they just switched computers.

ajr

brick house

Today in our Gospel Team caravan, we passed a building marked "Brick House Cafe."

This would have meant nothing to me before yesterday, but as it is, I have "Brick House" stuck in my head.

Thank you, Gospel Team tour CDs. bah.

ajr

toenails.

I had a realization today: toenails make absolutely no sense to me.

No really. I was putting on my socks and I realized that while fingernails KIND OF make sense (I've always thought of them as little battle shields for all the typing and flicking and throwing my fingers are going to do), toenails do not. It's not like toes do any sort of individual labor that they would need individual shields to protect them. And let's face it, in modern times, our tootsie toes rarely venture out unprotected. It seems like with all the (pardon the upcoming graphic images) ingrown nails and fungus and ripping off and whatnot, they're a lot more trouble than they're worth.

If we are, in fact, evolving as a species, moving toward the most fit and efficient form of life, then here is my prediction: we're gonna lose our toenails. But don't get cocky, Mr. Appendix. You're totally next.

ajr

pennies...

How exactly does the "find-a-penny" rule work? I know that if it's heads I'll have good luck and if it's tails a small animal will probably die, but what if I pick it up, see that it's tails, and throw it back down. Is the bad luck averted? Or have I just passed on the potential for more bad luck for someone else?

In other news, the SUN was out yesterday. AND the day before. And happiness reigned.

ajr

deodorant

Today I passed someone who was wearing my favorite scent of deodorant. I only wish I remembered what it was called...

ajr

surreality...

did you ever wake up and feel like your day was going to be weird? Have premonitions that you would get serenaded, recited Shakespeare to, and given engagement posters and flowers? Just knew that you would find Valentine posters of your face on every lamp post, door, and blank wall on campus?

Well I never did. Unfortunately, premonitions don't always warn us of things to come.

yesterday was just a weird day.

well played, my friends. well played.

ajr

Replay

I decided that there's something very ironic about this song.

It definitely has

a melody that gets in my head and I can't keep out.

Got me singing it like every day.

It's like my ipod stuck on replay. replay.

Krimmel, if you read this, I blame you.

ajr

Hoyt.

Today I walked through the engineering building on my campus. It was just for 10 seconds. Just to get out of the cold. Just as a shortcut to get to work on time. It was a perfect route - definitely a straight line between point A and point B.

And yet I feel that I have somehow betrayed my conscience by setting foot in its atrium.

I could almost smell all the engineers and smart people from ages past warning their successors of the intruder.

I'm never going in there again.

ajr

i'm so old.

I realized today that I'm getting along in years. All my friends are growing up and saving China. Or at least going to college and graduating from college and getting engaged.

Oh life, why fliest thou at such a rushing speed?

Also, I found some gray hairs. I'm basically 75.

But that might mean that I'm just stressed.

ajr

PJs

Today I walked into breakfast in my pajamas.

It was a very weird experience - I've never before felt so judged and yet so envied.

I'll definitely be doing it again.

ajr

Another Attribute of my God

Today on a dorm room white board, I saw the following message:

"Christ and Lyd are hotties."

While we sing enough songs about the beauty of our Lord, I'm not sure there's biblical precedence for such a claim..

I also wonder if Christa has ever considered what a complimentary nickname she has.

ha.

ajr

This is just one reason I love Grovers.Or maybe just English majors.

I heard the following conversation walking back from one of my classes:

"How did you enjoy the reading?"

"Oh it was such a blessing! What a delight."

"Yes, it has certainly made me re-evaluate...."

That was all that I heard. And no, none of the words have been changed in this transcription.

Major day-brightener.

ajr

a squeaky clean taste

I just learned that Pepsi One has soap in it.

yum. my life will never be the same.

ajr

Iodine starts with J.

I just found out that the periodic table in my college's science building is wrong.

It's like you can't trust ANYTHING these days.

ajr

boredom buster.

I'm pretty much by myself on campus for the next couple weeks. Wholesome activities are scarce. But fortunately, I found one.

Last night I pranked someone's room.

But I'll never tell who.

ajr

Hail to thee, alma mater...

Yesterday, I passed a sign on a historic school building. It read "Boogersburg School."

Made my day.

ajr